© Zoe Younger

So, you think it’s pretty funny when I ask you very nicely
Would you kindly hang the washing just a little more precisely?
I can tell by how you wrote it, just was jobs you do at home
and by seeing how you spoke it, that sarcastic little poem.

You think the wash days only tangled up, the day it’s yours to do
The magic fairy sorts mine out?Yeah right and pigs fly too!
And I know you never shook them out, then hung them up to dry.
The sleeves and legs are still all wet, jumbled up -that’s why!

You haven’t had to iron creased-up shirts when in a hurry.
The creases look like they’ve starched in. No wonder you get curry!
What do you care if blacks and blues are looking very pale?
if you’d hung them inside out, I wouldn’t buy more every sale!

You never folded washing when you had five minutes flat,
Which looks like dry old tissues from the pocket where you sat.
You never chased a stripy one, to get a pair of folded socks
Just to findit in the tea-towels, jumbled up in holey jocks!

You never faced the neighbours and those nasty little rumours
Or the whispers up and down the street of raggy baggy bloomers.
You love to make it sound much worse and I know you think it’s funny
But colour-coding pegs -not me.You know that too well honey!

And by the way, you’d make my day if, when you cleared the line
You folded andyou sorted it, put yours away and mine.
You never know just what might come with rampant gratitude
And wash day might be much more fun with your new attitude.